DEAR DAUGHTER: You are a caring girl. Also, I hope your letter provides a timely reminder that the time to befriend people is while they are breathing. I suspect that many avoid nursing homes and care facilities because they find them depressing. However, if the patient/resident is so infirm that he or she cannot be relocated, there is nothing to prevent a son, daughter or grandchild from taking in their relative. OUTSIDE for a nice lunch, lunch or dinner
Next time you visit mom, take one or more of your kids with you. It would lessen the onus of making conversation for them and, if you can get your mother out, a change of scenery could benefit all concerned.
Dear ABBY: My wife of 15 years cheated on me with a man 20 years older than her. I have never laid eyes on another woman. Now we are divorced but I know we still love each other. She calls me from her new home in the middle of the night if she’s scared, even though she plans to marry him. She knows that I am the love of her life. Am I crazy to keep? I still can’t help but love it. Is she just using me? Is there any hope? – IN IDAHO CUTTING
Dear ABBY: My 98-year-old mother has spent the last eight years in a nursing home. My siblings and I placed her there when her health declined to a point where it was no longer safe for her to live alone. Her mind is sharp, but she finds it difficult to move and take care of herself. She has made friends there and is loved by all who meet her.
I live 65 miles away and visit her every two weeks. My brother lives a few hours away and tries to see her every six to eight weeks. My sisters live closer and visit mom often. Mom loves these visits.
The problem is the eight grandchildren. Most of them live nearby and are either too busy or say they can’t wait to visit grandma “back home”. Those who live further away hardly call. My siblings and I have tried to drop subtle hints about how much a visit would be worth to her, to no avail. My worry is that one day they will realize the mistake they made in not visiting while she can still carry on a meaningful conversation.
Mom never complains, but has said she would like to see or hear more from relatives. Why do people always have time to go to a funeral but never take the time to visit someone special while they are still alive? I hope my letter will convince someone to find time in their busy schedule to visit a person in a nursing home. – DAUGHTER IN ROCHESTER, NY
BELOVED IN LIMBO: Divorce is final. The fact that she’s planning to marry the man she cheated on should send you a strong message – and it’s not that she still loves you. If she freaks out in the middle of the night, remind her that she now has a fiance to protect her. Then change your number
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
#Dear #Abby #exwife #cheated #engaged #boyfriend #win
Image Source : nypost.com